I'd interrupted my husband, and this was his reply. In all honesty, on occasion I could care less about what he's saying. Because I'm truly not interested in the topic (like gun stuff - I want to know how to shoot one accurately, not how to trick it out--that's his job), and I try not to intrude on his time with topics I know he could care less about (like how to scrapbook). However, I loved our current topic of conversation. Writing.
How many times a day/week/month/year do you face similar situations in your own marriage? Ones where you're misunderstood, where your spouse appears less than interested in your concerns, where
your spouse shoots off at the mouth without filtering their words through their brain (or their heart) first? Ones where you're never given the benefit of the doubt.
We deal with these and other issues every day. And if we gave them room in our hearts, rather than rather than working through them, we'd never have lasted the fifteen years we've been married (and counting).
Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil (Ephesians 4:25-27).
The Word of God tells us that we are to:
1. Put away lying. Speak truth to one another. Rather than bury those painful moments in your marriage or try to (unsuccessfully) let them go, gently remind your spouse of the truth. If you still cannot see eye-to-eye on the situation, agree to give each other 24 hours to consider it. Be sure to include prayer and reading God's word in your consideration period. Make sure your belief lines up with what God says is true. You may need to apologize if it doesn't. Then, come back together and discuss it again.
2. Be angry and do not sin. Proverbs 10:19 says, "In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise." It's okay to be angry when someone has committed an injustice against you. It is not okay to return the disfavor. Be upset, but hold your response until you've taken it to God and allowed His Spirit to minister to yours. Take time to cool off. Once you've relaxed, it's safe to say that when you confront your spouse, your words will be gentle and have the impact you desire.
3. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. When we go to bed after having a major fight and before making up, we invite the devil to our playground. And he will play. He'll tell you every reason in the world why your marriage is failing. Why you no longer love your spouse. How wrong he or she is, and how dare he or she treat you that way? You know. You've heard all of those lies before. Forgive one another. Talk it out. Kiss and make up. But don't give the enemy room to come between you and your spouse.
What techniques do you and your spouse use to overcome disagreements or anger?
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